Recently I haven’t been my usual self and I haven’t been putting my heart and soul into Sweet Monday, and I thought it was about time I explained myself, or tried too.
The last eight weeks have been a whirlwind. A wonderful person entered my life two months ago to this day and changed my life in more ways than I could have imagined.
I don’t remember the last time I was this happy and this busy enjoying life. Since the day we first hung out we both knew we were controlled by time. We had just eight weeks together. We therefore spent every second getting to know each other, enjoying each other’s company and becoming life long friends. Having something as forceful as time hanging over you, you don’t take any minute for granted, and you don’t regret anything.
This person has now been taken away from me and I’m not sure what I’m left with here at home, but I do know that we will forever keep in touch and these last few weeks have changed me in more ways than one.
I have been in some sort of relationship or other since the age of sixteen, the last eight years of my life, and I have never found true happiness with anyone I’ve been with. I’ve never had the time or the willingness to enjoy myself and get to know me, and I think this has dampened many promising relationships.
Knowing that no matter how amazing the last few weeks have been, it would be taken away from me on November 12th was hard to get my head around at first. There has been a lot of tears and a lot of words but I am happy. I’m still happy now he’s gone, and although not knowing when I’m going to see him again breaks my heart, I’m still over the moon that the last two months of my life have happened.
I have made some silly mistakes in my past and it has taken falling head over heels for someone that could never be with me to make me realise to never take anything for granted. I have often overlooked people and their feelings towards me, and they have done so to me too. Don’t take anything for granted! Whether it is a relationship, a friendship, anything. And don’t be taken for granted.
I intend to see him again for a couple of short lived weeks in paradise in six months time, and I intend to be here when he is finally home, whether it’s twelve or eighteen months. These intentions may never come true, but I have hope!
I never speak about my life on my blog anymore, not really. I express sadness and happiness through twitter sometimes but I never go into detail about my feelings or what I have been up to. Although I still don’t think I will indulge my entire life on the internet I do intend to write more blog posts from the heart.
I have seen bloggers pull each other out of all situations, sometimes a stranger can be the greatest person to listen.